Full Circle
by singintoyourself
Summary: -One Shot- Post Scorpia, Pre Ark Angel. Alex is in the hospital, now with time to look back on his life. Time to reflect on how his life with MI6 has influenced him. To projectfreq91's 'Full Circle'.


_A/N-This is my first Alex Rider fic, enjoy!! Post Scorpia, pre Ark Angel. I don't own Alex Rider, or these lyrics. The lyrics belong to projectfreq91, read his work (under author profile in my favorite authors). _

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Full Circle

_How long has it been since that lead-stained page?  
How long has it been since you had seen my cage?  
It feels like a year but I've long lost count  
Can't keep track of time with my mind without _

Silence.

There was nothing around, nobody to be seen or heard. It was deafening really, all this silence. At least it was to a fourteen year old boy, sitting alone in a hospital room. He sat alone in the darkness of night, using it as his cover. He stared at the wall of his room. The silence was broken by a nurse going by the door wheeling a cart.

St. Dominic's Hospital was not like other hospitals in London. It was the place where the rich and famous went to get better or have various procedures done. The boy didn't feel like he belonged here, and he didn't. Now, the boy was not one of fame and fortune, but what he had done for England was something more extraordinary then any record a pop star put out or any stupid stunt a movie star could have done. No, this boy was the reason that the earth was still in one piece, why several of the world's most evil were no longer a threat, and why many people were still alive.

This boy was Alex Rider.

_Foot in the door for however long  
I never knew I was even that strong  
But the bones are broken and the rest collapsed  
Rebuilt, re-break, and again we go back _

Alex Rider was by no means a normal boy. After all, he was sitting in a hospital recovering from a bullet wound that would have killed him if he hadn't taken a step down onto the street that fateful day. Alex Rider was a spy for MI6 and he had gone all over the world for them to fight the evil that would make most men pass out with fear. For the past year he had spent his time tracking down criminals and bringing them to justice. Justice, however, often evolved many innocent people dying. The lump of guilt in his stomach seemed to grow. Ever since he started working for MI6, the guilt he felt grew with every mission. Every mission meant he was lying to Jack, his friends, his school, and there was always a chance he would come back from one in a Union Jack draped coffin.

Yes, the threat of death was always hanging over his head. He was in the hospital after all. He had been gunned down by one of the most dangerous organizations in the world-or they were before Alex exposed them. After every mission he came home battered and bruised, emotionally spent and mentally destroyed. And then it was only a matter of time before they came back to him for another mission someone else-someone who actually wanted to do this job-could do.

He could always leave. Just walk away. Go to another country-France or Spain maybe. The CIA knew who he was, so he couldn't leave for America. Jack could go back to America to be with her family. She was the only reason why he risked his neck once a month. He loved her like a sister; he wouldn't let her be deported. Alex knew that she loved England almost as much as her home-as it had been her home for years now. It would break her heart if she was forced to go home, and chances were Alex would never see her again if she was.

And then he thought of his uncle. Pain stabbed at his heart. He had been murdered, much like Alex almost was. A spy for MI6, like Alex. Was he doomed to the same fate as his beloved mentor, the closest thing he ever had to a father? But Ian had chosen his fate. Ian chose to be an MI6 agent. Alex was thrown in as Ian's replacement. He would never be his uncle in many ways, but MI6 didn't seem to really care. Mrs. Jones may act like she did, and maybe she really did, but she never stopped Alex from going on dangerous missions and nearly dying at the hands of crazed evil men.

_  
Like salt in the wound, it hurts but cures  
But in the interim I feel its burn  
I guess it's a choice I have to make  
Fire for now or a flame I can't break _

And Sabrina…he never met a girl like her. In all honesty, he really shouldn't be attracted to her. They were too different, they came from different worlds. Yet there would always be a place for her in his heart. She was a nice girl…but she would never understand him. He wasn't sure if he ever would find someone who would understand why he disappeared off the face of the earth for weeks and came back bruised and bloodied. Alex sighed. Girls were confusing. Blaming hormones for his insecurities around them could only get him so far.

_  
So much of us spilled since the truth came out  
Now pick up the pieces, too many to count  
Take just this one and throw it away  
On the wings of the ocean, till it drowns in the fray _

Again he thought about MI6. He nearly became an assassin for Scorpia, blinded by revenge. His parents died for MI6, and Alex didn't learn the truth until he nearly killed the only person who acted like Alex was a teenager-not some secret weapon that could be drawn out and placed in the most dangerous situations. He had gone through hell time and time again. Every time when he came home he yearned to never go back. It would only be so long until they reeled him back again for another deathly mission. And his family…he couldn't forget about them. MI6 tried to convince him that he was honoring their memories. That didn't erase the fact that they were dead. Ian Rider gave his life for MI6. An angry rage filled Alex. Was the only purpose for the Rider family to die?

_  
Over _

Alex rolled over and punched his pillow in frustration. He had no control over his life. MI6 filled him with lies to tell people when he returned from his missions. Not that anyone believed him anyway. Alex had to stifle a laugh when he thought about telling his classmates at school about being in Gameslayer, being caught in a tank with a giant jellyfish, and nearly being cloned at boarding school. Oh yes, everyone would believe him. Then he'd be shipped off to Bedlam and be committed for life.

_  
I gave you my words and you gave me your voice  
I gave you my mind and you gave me advice  
I showed you the path and you gave me a light  
I hit the ground with you to save your life _

There would always be another fight. There would always be another freakishly rich psycho with a plot to take over the world, or destroy it. Or both. Alex understood this. He didn't understand why he had to stop it. He was just one boy with a desire to live like a normal boy…was that so much to ask? Why did he always have to be the hero, why couldn't he be the one who needed saving for once?

Alex closed his eyes and tried to sleep. He knew it would be a difficult task, but it was worth it for a few hours of rest. It was hard for him to sleep in the hospital; not because of the nurses coming in at all hours, but because he was under the feeling he was being watched. He felt that way all the time anymore. _  
_

_Clock hands swirling so fast backwards and forwards  
And my head stuck in the past so I can barely see  
The circle is now complete endlessly turning round  
And it begins this word that whispers to me  
_

_  
Over _

_  
Climbing towards the light atop an unknown summit  
Seeing countless sights that break and heal and free  
Sunlight shines on me and heals this agony  
Shadow spells the first of the word that saves me _

His restless sleep was filled by a strange dream. He dreamed he was climbing the mountain near Point Blanc, being watched by various people on his way up. There were his friends from school, snowboarding in the opposite direction, away from Alex. Alex yelled out to them, but they ignored him and continued their way down the mountain. Himself ignoring the sadness in his heart, he continued his way up. Turning his head to the right, he saw Mrs. Jones, talking into a walkie-talkie, much like she had been when they had faked his father's death. He focused on what was ahead of him, pulling himself away from visions of his father's fake death. For some reason, he felt a strong need to get to the top of the mountain. Alex didn't know why, but after five adventures he had developed a good sense in him that told him to go with his gut feeling. And now his gut feeling was telling to get to the top of that mountain.

Alex heaved himself onto a small ledge near the edge of the trees. The top was not far away-he estimated he only had about a fifty foot climb. Turning back to face the mountain, he got back to his feet and began walking. At the top, Alex could see the school building itself. It was intact but deserted. A chill went up Alex's spine, but it wasn't from being so near to the school where he almost became a biology project. He had the feeling he was being watched again. And he was quite right.

_  
Anew _

Alex spun around, his hands raised in a traditional karate stance. When he got a good look at the man in front of him, however, his hands immediately dropped to his sides. His breath caught in his throat. His heart started pounding.

"Uncle Ian." He whispered. The man smiled at him. Ian Rider nodded at Alex and stepped forward. He looked like Alex remembered him as; a handsome man whose muscles could be seen from under the sweatshirt he was wearing. He wasn't wearing the same clothes he had been when he was shot-Alex saw him as the man who taught him everything he knew. Ian stood in front of his nephew, taking in the sight of him. Alex knew he looked different. He looked stronger and his eyes had a look to them that made him look as if he had seen too much for someone as young as he was.

Ian noticed this. He placed his hands on Alex's shoulders and gave them a gentle squeeze. A reassurance; as if telling Alex that he was still with him. Then he faded away into nothingness. Panicked, Alex tried to grab at his uncle's disappearing figure but all he managed to do was loose his footing and fall…

He woke up in a sweat, shaking. His dream had seemed so real, especially towards the very end. He felt the pain of grief overtake him and felt hot tears come to his eyes. Alex wiped them away quickly, for fear of being seen crying. He took a deep breath to calm himself. It was a dream. Nothing more then a dream.

But then again, the dream had reminded him of everything he was fighting for. Freedom, his life, and everything in the world. If he didn't do the job, who else would?

But Alex still had one more question. Would he ever live a normal life again?

_The enigma has spoken  
This was my answer  
It is now complete  
A promising 'never'_

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_A/N-If you don't get the ending take a look at the lyrics...reviews are love!! Thanks for reading!_


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